Super-Bait-Girl: An Original Supergirl Story
- bare_thighz
- Henchman
- Posts: 56
- Joined: 10 years ago
fuck
Last edited by bare_thighz 4 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
- bare_thighz
- Henchman
- Posts: 56
- Joined: 10 years ago
fuck
Last edited by bare_thighz 4 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
- bare_thighz
- Henchman
- Posts: 56
- Joined: 10 years ago
fuck
Last edited by bare_thighz 4 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
- DrDominator9
- Emissary
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- Location: On the Border of the Neutral Zone
Very interesting work of SG erotica, Bare-Thighs. You were so into the whole sexual torture though that the overall story suffered significantly due to its very sudden ending. Still the descriptive quality was excellent and I look forward to future, more evenly plotted pieces from you.
- bare_thighz
- Henchman
- Posts: 56
- Joined: 10 years ago
I actually thought about cutting the torture scene at the end. Perhaps I should have. I hope to learn more about writing this type of erotica.
- DrDominator9
- Emissary
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- Joined: 13 years ago
- Location: On the Border of the Neutral Zone
I don't know that you needed to cut the torture scene but if you'd expanded the Superman capture or even a moment with Supergirl back at home with a personal scene of some sort or maybe going up against a common thug and not having the psychological strength to even handle that, it probably would have been enough to satisfy. You might think about adding an extra ending and editing what you have to round it out. Shouldn't take too much extra effort. Good luck.
- bare_thighz
- Henchman
- Posts: 56
- Joined: 10 years ago
You just want to read a good story. I understand now, and I know what to do in the future. Thanks for reading, and for your advice!
Of course we do!
bare_thighz wrote:You just want to read a good story. I understand now, and I know what to do in the future. Thanks for reading, and for your advice!