COUP DE GRACES - A Batgirl/Wonder Woman story.

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Re: COUP DE GRACES - A Batgirl/Wonder Woman story.

Post by tallyho »

And that's it ladies and gents, I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it.

Whether you did or didn't if you've invested the long time it took you to read it can I ask that you spend another moment to let me know what you thought of it , what you liked, what you didn't, what worked well, what was lousy. I saw this as a writing exercise, which is why I crammed in so many facets of the fetish, with beatdowns, ko's , chloro, gas/spray, unmasking, costume removal, debooting, foot worship/playing, fondling, light bondage, mind control and a fair few others I can't recall.
A lot of it isn't my thing so I have no idea if it worked or not unless you guys let me know.
My next story is a Supergirl one but it will probably be plot driven with no sexual element, in a month or so.

A big thanks to sgz6, Blx,tmon,Flagonforge, and Centurion for the encouragement to keep going and for sharing their opinions.

Anyone else want to pm/post me to discuss anything please feel free.

Cheers all, thanks for reading it.
Tallyho.
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Re: COUP DE GRACES - A Batgirl/Wonder Woman story.

Post by Blx »

Great job man. Might be a bit too long for a video, but great none the less.
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Re: COUP DE GRACES - A Batgirl/Wonder Woman story.

Post by Visitor »

More twists than a corkscrew so you never know when it will end up.

It would be nice to see a rematch since there would be some lingering memories of the original plan.
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Re: COUP DE GRACES - A Batgirl/Wonder Woman story.

Post by tallyho »

Thanks Blx, yeah I get what you are saying but I put a lot in the story that I wouldn't necessarily have in the vid, but you're right it still too long, unless I get the dosh for a 45 min custom or split it in two.
Visitor wrote:More twists than a corkscrew so you never know when it will end up.

It would be nice to see a rematch since there would be some lingering memories of the original plan.
Thanks for the feedback Visitor - I'm hoping that the corkscrew is a good thing :D - or did you mean it was a bit too over complicated?

Funny you should mention a rematch....there was that phial that rolled in to Faiths palm remember....

I'm not just after praise though guys and this is to any other readers, I tried somethings and need to know if they worked. Like for example using the present tense - 'says Batgirl', 'she looks bewildered' rather than using 'said' and 'looked'. I was trying to get a sense of immediacy, as if you were there watching events unfold, hence Batgirls chloro countdown and the chloro description for Wonder Woman. And I bet you thought it was just bad grammar!
I'm not trying to be pretentious, but maybe it comes over that way, I don't know, I was just trying to explore techniques, and write in a plausible way.
So my question is to all readers- did it work?

Speak up now or be condemned to more of this drivel! You've had your chance....
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Re: COUP DE GRACES - A Batgirl/Wonder Woman story.

Post by tmon »

There is an excellent chance that the Wizard's Lair will be having a Wonder Woman story contest in the near future with a cash prize. :-D This would be for stories never posted online before.
http://www.superheroinecentral.com/~wiz ... e_Page.htm
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A massive thank you,an apology,an explanation,and a question

Post by tallyho »

Just wanted to thank everyone for the stunning accolade of 10,033+ views
(yes TEN THOUSAND !) at time of writing, for my first ever posted story here.
The problem though is
A) anything else I do is only gonna be worse - the only way is down from these sort of heights
B) only 2 posts after it ended after 5,000+ more views so I'm still none the wiser as to what worked and what didn't.
C) if you write a Batgirl story and a certain well known forum Overlord doesn't reply with her comment then I can't help feeling like I failed. :(

That's the thank you , the apology is that I said to some I'd post a Supergirl story in mid February but I haven't.Sorry.
The explanation is that I've ended up using the Sg plot I had for the Wonder Woman competition on Wizards Lair. (See Tmon's post above) I encourage anyone interested to just go for it, we are all amateurs, and all have a story to tell so enter the comp.
The backup plot I had got thought of to some degree (completely independently) by Supergirlx
So I couldn't post without it looking like plagiarism. I shall wait a few months and then add my alternative story. So apologies , no Supergirl story from me yet.
I recommend Supergirlx story 'the trial of Supergirl' to all readers. It's good stuff, well written.

So finally , my question is this - I am about to start posting the follow up to my Coup De Graces story, but my ideas for detailed scenes are fairly loose at the moment, so does anyone have any particular things they would like to see? If anyone does please pm me to preserve the story surprise , I can't promise to use any or all suggestions but if I can incorporate them into the story I will. It will feature the Grace sisters (3 female criminals) as per my first story, plus Wonder Woman and Batgirl. The primary locale is an abandoned farm.
First post will be up tomorrow.
So what do you want to happen?

Again thanks for the staggering amount of views , stunned and amazed to make top 20 story posts viewed with my first effort. And thanks to those of you who did respond.
Like I said, all downhill from now on I'm afraid!

Cheers all
Tallyho
Last edited by tallyho 9 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A massive thank you,an apology,an explanation,and a ques

Post by SGWriter »

TO, just want to say you should not be so critical too yourself. I thought your tale had some great elements. While not everything in it was my taste the things that were, peril, KOs, bondage, were all well done. My primary rule when I write is that I do it for myself. I would suggest not worrying about posts, feedback, etc. I encourage you to keep at it, looking forward to your next story.
Yes Supergirl, that's right its a necklace for you....What's the matter you don't like Kryptonite?
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Re: A massive thank you,an apology,an explanation,and a ques

Post by tallyho »

Thanks (you weren't the person I was referring to btw- I meant Overlord as in their member status), but I wanted to get something out of this, and I haven't really learnt anything other than it takes f'ing ages to type into a smartphone. Not looking for praise ( though that's nice to get) just wanted some constructive thoughts. Anyone with any pm me as I don't want to start a discussion in the story thread
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Re: A massive thank you,an apology,an explanation,and a ques

Post by CBiscuit »

With 10,000 views, I think you are already doing better than most! I have been writing stories for several sleepy sites for nearly 10 years. I just posted my first superheroine efforts here and, quite frankly, they were slow to catch on and 2 haven't even hit 1000 views yet! Tastes vary widely, so you have to really please the masses to get those numbers. I'm guessing that my first efforts are probably too much on the sleepy side and not rough and tumble superheroine enough to suit most people here. I will keep trying to get the balance right for the readers here, but it will take some trial and error to make that happen, and I'm probably a long way from ever reaching 10'000 views on one story!
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Re: A massive thank you,an apology,an explanation,and a ques

Post by tallyho »

Thanks. This isn't false modesty on my part, I'm really pleased to get that number of views, but with so many reading it and so little response it just comes over as lots of people ignoring me rather than a few!
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Re: A massive thank you,an apology,an explanation,and a ques

Post by Visitor »

It's more that a lot of people looking, but they don't have anything to say.
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Re: A massive thank you,an apology,an explanation,and a ques

Post by Centurion »

A lot of us have asked these questions, but the members of this forum are notoriously shy about giving you feedback. On the other hand, if you concentrate too much on what gets the most responses, you end up writing essentially the same story over and over gain! All I can say is write the stories you would want to read.
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Re: A massive thank you,an apology,an explanation,and a ques

Post by batgirl1969 »

I am so so sorry i have not been able to comment on your work....you do some incredible wroting and i am going to go comment there now after getting caught up this weekend...my schedule has been nutz lately and my little netbook was acting up....hard to read stories at work seems everyone is wanting to join a gym to look good for summer!

I really should be punished for not commenting sooner...i luv your stuff ....maybe i deserve a trip to the rack or a spanking....is a 21 year old woman too old to spank? Lol...nahhhhh!
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Re: COUP DE GRACES - A Batgirl/Wonder Woman story.

Post by batgirl1969 »

Visitor wrote:More twists than a corkscrew so you never know when it will end up.

It would be nice to see a rematch since there would be some lingering memories of the original plan.

Speaking of twists and a corkscrew...maybe thats a design for a new "toy" once they capture her...they can "uncork" virgin batgirl with their torture device....the menacing "corkscrew" the graces are probably fancy ladies that like the sweet berry wine(yes i mean batgirl's lovely juicy body)

Btw...i would do anything for that costume!
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Re: COUP DE GRACES - A Batgirl/Wonder Woman story.

Post by tallyho »

Been a year to the day since I first started to post this story and just totally staggered to get 14024 views. Thanks again to all who took the time to look in and I hope you have enjoyed it.
If you did, the story goes on here-
http://www.superheroineforum.com/viewto ... =9&t=16196
in the 'Grace Escape'

Top tip to anyone else who writes a serial - post a link to the parts at the end of the last post!
I stupidly thought they'd forever be within a page of each other (D'oh!) but of course when people add a comment they can get split up and years from now with god knows how many story pages its gonna be a pain in the arse to find and follow them (Got confused myself with the order of the Overmaster Wars)
Anyway, never underestimate my stupidity!
Cheers all and thanks again. If only I got paid for it!
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Re: COUP DE GRACES - A Batgirl/Wonder Woman story.

Post by ThatOnePervert »

Very well written! I'm not huge on life or death stakes, but it was still a good read that managed the back and forth momentum of the heroines and villains nicely. Hope is too pure for this world.
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Re: COUP DE GRACES - A Batgirl/Wonder Woman story.

Post by tallyho »

Great, thanks for taking the time to both read it and post a comment.

If you read the continuation , please do so again, post I mean, good or bad it's the only way we will get any better.
Hopefully that's helped you get the content level for the main section. If they had dismembered her, ate her or fucked her with a rabbit, it would have been Dungeon material., lol.
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