The Ultimate Superheroines Forum

Artee

Liked it quite a bit, actually. My main problems with it were probably the poor final acts, the whole 'we didn't show you this, but we knew that the villains were gonna do this all along!' thing where everything went 'just as planned'. Felt a little too convenient and lowered the stakes a great deal...

Artee

I felt Ruby was a little weak at the start but really grew into the role in the later episodes. Would definitely be strange to not see her in the suit, and wondering how they'd rationalise the new BW especially since the main antagonist has such a close connection to Kate Kane.

Artee

Epilogue ELSEWHERE... The doors slammed open. In walked a beautiful, red-skinned woman flanked by four of the bar’s hostesses. The hostesses didn’t seem to be escorting an intruder so much as following their leader, and they all had strange pink glows in their eyes. It was much like the pinkness in...

Artee

Chapter Nine “M-m--macchew? Izzat yoo?” Detective Lynn snapped her eyes to the mumbling man on the ground. “Jesus Christ,” she murmured, rushing to his side. His eyes were unfocused as he muttered incoherently to himself, frothing at the mouth. The detective shot a glare at a nearby officer. “The h...

Artee

Chapter Eight Anderson Ghash let out a sigh of relief, pulling away as the vigilante’s struggles slowed. Her brown eyes widened, darting around wildly as she reacted to the chemical. Her face was visibly flushed, her jaw dropping as she heaved in heavy breaths. “Ninety-percent pure double-A. How do...

Artee

Chapter Seven CALYPSO PHARMA RESEARCH FACILITY A2, 11PM Vigil pulled herself up the ledge, vaulting over to the roof of the building. She frowned at the cold droplets of rain falling from the heavens. Why is it always raining? From her position, she had a perfect view of the facility, a six storey ...

Artee

Chapter Six “Nno...not you...not with you...” Faith mumbled, feeling herself crumbling as his fingers rubbed her burning pussy. She made another half-hearted thrash against her bonds, groaning as the machine pulsed again, another powerful attack slamming against her failing mental barriers. The Men...

Artee

Chapter Five ELSEWHERE... Julius Lars, the second-most powerful man in the Pact, maintained a cool, vigilant composure as he scanned the thirty-odd men and women seated around the private room. Satisfied, he nodded at the hostesses, who streamed out of the room gracefully. Good. Everyone’s here. He...

Artee

Chapter Four The adrenaline in Faith was already wearing off as she climbed in through her apartment window. Tearing off her Vigil mask, she dashed to the washroom, rinsing her mouth of that horrid taste. It wasn’t just the taste of semen, but a constant sticky reminder of her utter humiliation at ...

Artee

Chapter Three HOURS LATER... Detective Lynn Williams grumbled as she heard the heavily armoured van rumble to a halt. It bore the familiar insignia of the premier anti-mutant security force in the city, NovaSec. “Armed robbers in the bank, gang fights in the docks, kidnappers in District Forty-Two,...

Artee

This trailer made me decide to finally get off my ass and read Dune. :L

Artee

Ah I see. Well you've got me reading all of it so far, and I'm looking forward to more

Artee

Hi! I hope you don't mind if I give some feedback. I want to preface it by saying that I'm not saying I don't make the same mistakes, just that these are the things that stuck out to me. Okay, first I'll do a running commentary as I read through the text. I don't really like how many complicated wor...

Artee

I prefer the fight to continue after the defeat, where it's the villain/villainess whose actions eventually induce the heroine to give in. I don't mind skipping to the defeat, actually, if the sole purpose of the story is focused on the heroine's fight after her defeat.

Artee

Chapter Two Vigil burst through the door, and instantly stiffened. A man was holding a knife up to the neck of a woman. The woman looked up at her, whimpering through her bonds. Her clear iris indicated she hadn’t been drugged. Not yet, at least. “Ah, hero!” the man grinned. “Let her go.” The man s...

Artee

Chapter One Vigil sighed as she watched his eyelids droop shut. She pressed a palm to his forehead, reaching in to feel for any excessive trauma to his mind. She went really close to the line on this one...was his anger having a residual effect on her? As a psychic, keeping an open mind let her pic...

Artee

Hi. Sorry for the constant rewrites, by now this would be the third rewrite of the same character's story. Still, I want to be clear that this isn't a rehash of the old stories and a stupid attempt to 'bump' the story. I've been posting what are effectively unpolished drafts here. I've changed a lot...

Artee

I personally felt she was a little iffy at the start of her role but really grew into it, will be difficult seeing a different actress as Batwoman in season 2.

Sad she's leaving.

Artee

Bit of a slippery slope, no? Where do you draw the line and who decides? Exactly, that's why the forum decides, not me, which is why I'm asking here to gauge the general consensus before risking anything that breaks forum rules or something. But alright, I'll do what everyone said if I did somehow ...

Artee

Sorry for using this subforum as a Q&A board, but what does this forum think about rewrites of an old story? Say for example I've written a story called Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-Woman, and it's been a while and I feel I wrote it like shit and I want to rewrite it, maybe to change a few...

Artee

I would assume a dungeon story would contain stuff that some consider to be more fetishy than others — things like more violent and hardcore BDSM, maybe things like dicks on girls — basically fetishes that may turn some people off. The really, really fetishy and out-there fetishes could even include...

Artee

On mobile so I can't really reply to everything, but I personally believe that while we SHOULD write what we want to read, improvement is also important so you can continue writing what your target audience wants to read. Shorter stories tend to be able to receive better, frequent feedback compared ...

Artee

I suspect that in general people want to cut to the chase. I have been writing stories where things build to the peril - and in general "they don't sell well". It might be that it is my style that puts people off, or, the peril isnt "sexual" enough when it arrives, or any number...

Artee

Right, so I've been having this...problem with my stories - it takes too damn long to get to the action, or at least I feel that way. I feel there needs to be some balance between establishing the character as a hero, through doing heroic stuff like beating bad guys up, defeating crime rings, etc an...

Artee

Hot damn! I admire your dedication to writing all this. I have to admit I haven't read most of it, but I loved the dragged on fight scene - the way you described what both sides were feeling, they were you conveyed Valora using her as a punching bag for her emotions at first, making them both very h...

Artee

FINALLY after 5 months I've gotten to the idea I've wanted to write since the previous Vigil. So yeah. There's a sex scene. So much more sex in this chapter than the previous ones. Have fun. ~~~ Chapter 6: The Visitation “Death is such a waste. This beautiful specimen of the male human, gone, just l...

Artee

There's a little bit of femdom in this chapter, I hope that's alright because most of the stories I've seen in this forum (and I've seen a lot of stories, regardless of what my post count suggests) are mainly of a female being defeated and stuff. For those who don't like it don't worry, it's only fo...

Artee

A little tease of the Beast's powers here and a little smut, but I hope I'm not dragging the story too long. ~~~ Chapter 4: Breaking and Entering Getting into the base was surprisingly easy with the detective’s blessing. Any random patrols were easily dealt with by the mentalist at her side, which r...

Artee

Thanks, tallyho for your nice comments! :D So the last update was, like, two months ago, so I hope this isn't considered necro-ing this thread or something but here's another part. If it's considered necro-ing I'd be happy to repost this story, but I think that's a little weird so...yeah. ~~~ Chapte...

Artee

I think that at times America has to remind some of these ass backward regimes that when you mess with our country, especially our consulates and embassies, that is a line you cannot cross without dire consequences. If we had not acted after the most recent attack on our outpost, we would have embo...

Artee

Not an American, and a little controversial considering the current responses but I feel the whole assassination was a mistake. Iran was already becoming less extremist, warming up to the US under the deal to cut back their nuclear program in exchange for the reduction of sanctions, until Trump with...

Artee

Loved it.

@the e-web thing: I think they said something about the Moff realising his troopers failed to get the Foundling, so he decided to wait so they could decide. Don't know why he gave them so long though.

Artee

Ohhh shit, damn! Your story twists and turns like a snake - I mean that in a good way, of course!

You had my attention from the moment she was first under her influence all the way - fantastic writing.

Artee

That's a good point, though I'd nitpick and say it's trivial to enforce (just delete the new comment and give a warning! :L) I think the bump rule is to prevent old stories from jumping over new stories and preventing them from reaching the limelight, which is an issue maybe in erotica sites like li...

Artee

Chapter 2: A Familiar Face Sergeant Kane Barnes observed the scene of the crime. It was gory — one man, presumably the leader, lay dead, his head crunched in in a pool of blood. Two others were arrested, with one witness — a prostitute. The dried blood still remained, with a white outline indicatin...

Artee

Chapter 1: Adaptation “No, no, n-uhhh…” The woman shuddered, a disorientating wave enveloping her mind, her hand reaching out to cling onto the wall for support. Hector grinned, carefully withdrawing the injector and gently wiping the trickle of blood that exited from the injection site, his touch ...

Artee

Hi. Sorry for the long hiatus — I'd actually had a lot of this written but had a lot of trouble filling up the middle parts, deciding what to cut, what to start with. I think it's better than when I first started with Vigil 1, and now at least I've got a more complete picture of where I want this to...

Artee

Exciting stuff! I love stories of initial reluctance giving way to pleasure, and this ticks all the boxes. Great work

The only super minor criticism I have is you could probably use more commas in certain places to break up a particularly long sentence, but that's all.

Artee

In this case, her ability to resist the ultrasonic waves is really just an extension of her force shield. Long time fans know that she can deflect bullets and physical attacks, plus energy attacks of various kinds if she concentrates. Guess I gotta do more reading, then :L I could have gone back an...

Artee

Damn. I'd really like to commend the part on the hypnosis especially, it was really great — her confidence it wouldn't work turning into fear it was working and finally into being controlled — Nice!

Artee

I really like how you tease both the villain and the audience, and the way you express the Fox's teasing and playful attitude is excellent! Your stories are always a fun read. If you don't mind, I'd like to give suggestions for your next story. I'd prefer if the idea to something something z-particl...

Artee

Yeah, about Jim I was really bouncing around the idea of having him around until I decided to cut him out because of future characters very late in the writing, that's probably why it's so rushed. As for her personality, I agree! This is really the first time I'm writing a SHIP story (excluding the ...

Artee

hi, i kind of like the idea of not making it a complete loss at first to kind of build it up and also to cement her as strong, but not to worry I've already gotten most of the next part written and should be posting it probably in a few weeks' time, thanks for the feedback!

Artee

Worse are the ones where there's music, because the music just overwhelms the voices. ...I'm not the only one watching super old videos, am I? And yes about the skimpy costumes thing - I know it's pretty ironic that I want less skin in a pornographic scene, but it's a little pet peeve of mine when t...

Artee

Thanks for your kind comment! To be honest I've actually already written most of the humanoid part as that was the initial idea for another story I had in mind, then I decided to just integrate it in. Still got a long way to go, but thanks for your feedback!

Artee

Damn . I'm very late to this story, but I love how each character is painted so differently from one another. And how you portray Supergirl's weakness not because of the usual kryptonite and all, but through, as you said, targeting the 'girl' instead of the 'super'. It's probably been done before b...

Artee

Hey all, thanks for the warm welcome!

(or re-welcome...is that a thing?)

And yes, I also hope I'm more active in here, though I'll probably stay in my comfortable little zone in the stories section :L

Artee

So it's been nearly 8 or 9 years since I registered, and I've been lurking ever like a creep ever since :L Finally decided to say a word or two, so here I am! I think the first story that actually made me sign up was the Incoming Transmission one made nearly 11 years ago (holy shit! it sounds so lon...

Artee

Well, I've not offered any comments on any stories for 8 years, so I see the POV of the lurkers, too :P

Thanks for your words, they help

Artee

Chapter 6: Incubation Vigil tested her arm, still feeling sharp pain deep in her muscle from the needle. “No more left hooks for me, I guess.” she said, massaging her bandaged shoulder carefully. She looked around the apartment, noting the numerous computer consoles at the sides. “So. I assume you’...

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